Sometimes the People Who Love You Most Tell You What You Don't Want to Hear
By Pastor Steve Goode | Northside Baptist Church
Scripture Focus: Proverbs 27:6; Proverbs 3:5–6; 2 Timothy 4:3–4
Have you ever had somebody tell you something you absolutely did not want to hear?
Maybe it was your spouse.
Maybe it was a close friend.
Maybe it was somebody at church who cared enough about you to have an uncomfortable conversation.
And let's admit something.
Our first reaction isn't always, "Thank you so much for pointing out where I'm wrong!"
Sometimes our first reaction is to get defensive.
We explain ourselves.
We justify ourselves.
And occasionally, we get downright irritated.
But here's something I've learned over the years.
The person who tells you what you need to hear may love you far more than the person who constantly tells you what you want to hear.
A Lesson From My Police Days
During my years as a Greensboro police officer, I occasionally had to explain to someone that their driving needed a little improvement.
Now, strangely enough, I don't remember many people thanking me for the opportunity!
I don't recall somebody rolling down the window and saying, "Officer, I was hoping someone would stop me today and point out my mistakes!"
Usually, there was an explanation.
Sometimes it was creative.
Sometimes it was entertaining.
But the point was that a violation had occurred, and correction was necessary.
The fact that someone didn't appreciate the correction didn't make it unnecessary.
And spiritually speaking, we can respond exactly the same way.
Faithful Wounds
Proverbs 27:6 teaches that the wounds of a friend are faithful, while an enemy's kisses can be deceptive.
What a remarkable picture!
A true friend may have to say something that hurts.
Not because they want to humiliate you.
Not because they're trying to control you.
But because they love you enough to care about the direction your life is heading.
That's an important distinction.
Biblical correction should never become an excuse for cruelty, manipulation, or spiritual abuse.
Truth must be spoken in love.
But love must also be willing to speak the truth.
If I see someone heading toward a dangerous cliff, love doesn't mean standing quietly on the sidelines and cheering them on.
Love means warning them.
And sometimes that warning needs to be urgent.
The Danger of Surrounding Ourselves With Agreement
We live in a world where we can easily surround ourselves with people who reinforce what we already believe.
Social media makes that especially easy.
If somebody challenges our thinking, we can unfollow them.
If a preacher confronts our behavior, we can find another preacher.
If God's Word makes us uncomfortable, we can search until we find somebody who interprets it in a way that makes us feel better.
But that doesn't make us spiritually mature.
It can make us spiritually vulnerable.
Second Timothy 4 warns about people who pursue teaching that satisfies their desires rather than teaching that confronts them with truth.
That's a dangerous place to be.
Because eventually, instead of asking what God wants us to believe, we begin looking for somebody who will tell us God already agrees with us.
Trusting God More Than Ourselves
Proverbs 3:5–6 reminds us to trust the Lord rather than leaning on our own understanding.
That doesn't mean we stop thinking.
It means we recognize that our understanding is limited.
I can be convinced that I'm right and still be wrong.
I can sincerely believe something and still be mistaken.
And I can feel completely justified in my actions while being completely outside the will of God.
That's why Scripture must challenge us.
God's Word is not merely there to confirm what we already think.
It's there to transform how we think.
And sometimes that transformation hurts.
But the same God who lovingly confronts our sin also offers forgiveness, restoration, and grace.
A Friend Worth Having
I hope you have people in your life who encourage you.
I hope you have people who pray for you and celebrate with you.
But I also hope you have someone who loves you enough to lovingly say, "You need to reconsider this."
And I hope you're willing to listen.
Because spiritual maturity isn't demonstrated by never being corrected.
It's demonstrated by what we do when correction comes.
The truth may wound our pride, but God's truth is intended to lead us toward healing.
So don't surround yourself only with people who agree with you.
Surround yourself with people who love Jesus, love His Word, and love you enough to tell you the truth.
Even when the truth is difficult to hear.
It's a joy to be your pastor!
Pastor Steve
Northside Baptist Church
northsidegreensboro.com
